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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Want This So Bad

Sorry I haven't updated in quite a while. Things have been... I dunno... complicated. I don't really feel like rehashing things, so I'm just going to focus on the future. Tomorrow, I'm starting a five-day fast. This is going to be a real challenge for me because I work all five of those days and 1) It's hard to work/stand 8.5 hours without eating anything, and 2) This weekend is a three-day Red Peak, which means... FREE FOOD. My plan is diet soda/energy drinks and sequestering myself away in the quiet lounge, away from temptation. I'm also going to bring my ED notebook with me for [thin]spiration. I'm so close to reaching my 100lb weight-loss goal, I can almost taste it (hardy-har-har), and I really, really want to reach my "final" goal of weighing 120lbs by the time I visit my family at the end of December.

Fingers crossed I can do it! I'll try to update more on my progress. Peace :3

Monday, August 1, 2011

Where to Go From Here

I don't even know what to say about the last few weeks, so I won't say anything at all. The bingeing/purging continue but, on a bright note, I met a guy who was not disgusted by my gross, flabby, ginormous body. In fact, he was actually pretty turned on by parts of it. And even better, I felt pretty comfortable with my body while I was with him (thank God, the lights were off, though, otherwise it would've been an entirely different story!). I was completely naked, but I thought, hey, my body isn't that totally bad (or at least a HELL of a lot better than it was 90lbs ago!). I'm still going to continue losing weight because I know I can/want to look better, but it was great to have an experience where a guy told me I was sexy and, more importantly, made me believe it myself, at least for a few hours :)