Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!! I really need to learn some goddamn self-control! There was free food at work today, so of course, like the fat fucking pig I am, I ate at nearly every break. Doritos, guacamole, Tostitos, onion dip, BBQ ribs, baked potato with sour cream, and ice cream! Two bowls of ice cream with M&Ms and caramel and chocolate sauce on top! I'm surprised I didn't gain a bajillion pounds! I nearly had a panic attack after my lunch break. All that food sitting in my stomach, getting absorbed into my body and making me fat, fat, FAT!!! I really, REALLY wanted to purge but I just can't risk it at work.
Then I got even more food after work, but luckily I was able to purge all of it at home. When I weighed myself I'd only gained 2lbs (thank, God!!!). But it still really pisses me off because this morning I'd reached the 90lb mark and now I've moved back 2lbs :(
So I've decided to come up with a new plan: ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD AT WORK! And bingeing limited to just once a week. The other six days of the week I plan to eat as little as possible; no more than 500 calories.
No one thinks that I can lose (now) 38lbs before I visit my parents in late December, but I know if I stick to this plan I can do it. Wish me luck!
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